If you followed my gallery for the recent months, you will noticed that I was not exactly hard-working in new pictures, just posting some old sketches and designs from my ancient design classes.
There are some reasons for it. One is my studies which gave me lots of homework and dozens of little projects I couldn't handle without diverging from my creative time.
But mostly, there was a period in my life when I had to struggle again with my own inner demons which contains mostly of self-loathing, idleness and poor social skills. It isn't easy if there are certain character trademarks which you actually hate about yourself and you somehow don't seem to get rid of. (I don't say it's impossible, but it takes a lot of you.)
One of these character trades is repressed anger. Another one is poor critical distance.
For both of them, I've watched the "Nostalgia Critic" since April 2012. This concept alone seems to get the heart of me: an angry, high-pitched screaming grumpy guy with an overload of emotions and a snarky, sometimes even silly and childish humour - that's exactly like me
I know it seems ridicolous to be so excited about an internet celebrity the most germans have not even heard of. But, honestly: the Nostalgia Critic reviews, Askthatguywiththeglasses, the Nostalgia Chick, in fact the whole site thatguywiththeglasses.com gave me so much confidence, so much sharp analysis, so much knowledge about pacing, character description and logic - it changed me a lot.
I don't claim I would understand the world now better than before - but over the hours of watching I realised some values inside me were appealed by the critics and were increasing without actually forcing me to evaluate them. It washed away some of the grief and made my body going along with it, listening to arguments I would be allowed to agree or to disagree. And so, even when some of my childhood icons were critized, I could accept it without having to quit my love for them.
I would call it respect - something I dread to lose my whole life whenever standing opposite of the crowd.
There were also other incidents, as important as this one, but I would like to keep them personal.
So, to come back at the start of this journal: this was the main reason I had to stop drawing for a while, because the pressure of slowly completing a full-developed picture and then making some failures in colouring - at least in this stadium of my depression - could become really frustrating and therefore more harmful than pleasing.
So what I will accomplish the next months? Currently, I'm working on a meme which gives me the opportunity to draw several of my favourite video game characters I want to draw long time ago.
Further, I have the ambition to start a series of WITCH fanarts, which I want to call "connections". I have not begun one yet, but I planned plenty of them, maybe even an own account for them, so keep watching!
Finally, I've been planning at least a few new pics in aquarell chalk, computer graphics and some more doodles. Also, I will working with pencils again to improve my shading.
So thanks for watching my little non-professional gallery, and many good wishes for the following eleven months of the unfortunate 2013!